sa-d-f

=Shaved Apes=

Game Design Doc Feedback

 * clear pitch, even to someone who hasn't seen much of the recent back-culture, which is good to keep a major market in mind
 * 'venator' - eh? (http://www.venator-rec.com/); its called 'hunter' on the vidcap
 * structure of doc is unclear in the wikispaces side-panel
 * good to see a start on audio, but more work needed here
 * characters are defined in a patchy way and this section needs to be brought together more coherently
 * mechanics:controls - OK, but what if you are a Buffy watcher and don't know these controls cos you don't play these kinds of games
 * where did the seven deadly sins go? (particular, not general question ...)

There are quite a few bits to yet add, apparently. You only have a few weeks to do this. It is quite a big set of ideas and you need to make sure it eventually holds together, and pulls the reader through the idea from start to finish of your narrative.

Draft mark: 50%

Final Comments: - this comes together remarkably well. It is comprehensive, if still a bit heavy on the abck story (YMMV.) The sketches, vidcaps, audio and other detail are excellent. Well done.

Final grade: 75%