syxx-d-f

=Syxx=

Design Doc Feedback

 * Supposed to be an online presentation (web-pages in HTML or using wysiwyg editor) rather than a downloadable zip file
 * One-liner? Describe your game in a single sentence
 * About the game - seems too much detail here, try and lose about 50% of the text
 * Upper age limit of 30? We can't play it then? :'(
 * USP - again, too many words. Try bullet points or at least space out your paragraphs with blank lines
 * Win/Lose conditions - When do you find out how many escape pods that are left? Be careful to avoid the Dead-man-walking scenario (Derek)
 * Trawling through the appendices is a bit of a nightmare as they appear in a different order than they are reffered to from the main document
 * Structure the document a bit better - adding in page breaks for new sections ... or in the ideal scenario, different HTML pages linked from a contents page (makes it easier to follow)

In general - lots and lotas and lotas and lots ... and even more detail. Large amounts of text with no break-up using images makes for a very difficult and somewhat dull read. The actual idea looks quite interesting, but this isn't reflected very well in the monotone design doc. Its very difficult to reduce the amount of text, once written. The best bet is to write an introductory 1-2 pager for quick read, then keep the rest for the greater detail. mebbes get one of the team who write short sharp text to do this.

draft mark: 55%

Final comments - I agree with your final comment that much of this can't be checked until you try it in real-time. Given that this is a valid conclusion, you might have gone lighter on the heavy detail and spent a wee bit more time thinking about how you would go validating the game idea in pilot. But, this does not detract from what is a highly detailed document for a complex idea heavy on balance issues. Good work.

final mark: 62%