i2gd-ac-d-f

=Introduction to Games Development=

Design Doc Feedback
Aeron Coyle

http://aeron.yolasite.com/

Nice backstory for the game, just spoiled a bit by the grammer and spelling, though not much. In general, a very good idea that is well presented, but there are a few things missing ...

Perhaps add a single sentence about the gameplay, and a short abstract as an introduction, before you get into the story. This helps the reader start to invision the game straight away as a platformer, albeit with a dark twist.

Concept art. I have a vague idea what you expect the game to look like, but I could be wrong. You could mention the art style the game is going to adopt, as well as include some mock screenshots (or actual screenshots if you have them ready) and what the chasracters may look like.

Derek